Brainiacs

 During Ramadhan this year, 2025, mom in law's health started to deteriorate. 

It started with constant issues caused by one of my brother in law, Muhd, which has caused her to develop some kind of depression. She had not been eating, done anything, lost a lot of weight.

The brothers decided to bring her to KL, so she could stay with someone, and we could make sure that she's eating. My own mom was with us, so staying with us was not an option.

She stayed for quite a bit, maybe around 2 weeks. In one of the days, she had to stay at our house since the brother in law and family had to be out of town. She could even went up to stay at the upper floor. At some other day we came over to the brother's house for iftar. Although she still couldn't eat much and had to be forced, she still had clear mind. She seemed weak for sure with strength next to none. But it didn't seem very alarming and we thought with proper meals, she can get back on her feet. She was too excited that the brother who has been causing trouble, will pick her up and celebrate Eid with her. Her excitement showed especially when this been repeated plenty of times.

Our Eid was a bit different this year. My eldest had to work. Being a disciplinarian that we are, he had to fill his part of the bargain and obliged. Especially when making adjustment is not too troublesome. So we had the morning Eid at Shah Alam, headed to Melaka after dropping him off for work. We even booked a hotel for him that night, so that he won't be alone and be left out. True enough, he had late night with his friends, enjoy free time at the hotel, good breakfast in the morning, and off to celebrate Eid at his friend's before off to work on the 2nd day.

Mom in law was safe at  home. Or so we thought. 

When Mus reached Ipoh on the second day of Eid, he made a distress call. Turned out things got from bad to worst. Ipoh house was a mess. She seemed disoriented. Not eating. We couldn't even imagine how up side down was the condition. But he sure seemed so stress. That was kind of the abys of her condition. Come next day when we reached, the family took note that things will never the same again. Their mom is no longer what she was. She was only 68, but she couldn't even move much. Moving from the back room to the front was already a big enough task. And to make matters worst, she just refuse to eat. 

They decided to bring her back for treatment after in KL. They had to go few times to few clinics and hospital before making a decision to go to Puncak Alam's UiTM hospital. Hubs waited, but the hospital was too occupied. After having stayed for more than 1 night at the emergency unit, the hospital decided that there's nothing wrong with her, but they might be signs of Dementia. Nothing conclusive but he had to be relieved. They asked Muhd to come over, and he stayed for a day. But that was all. He went back to where he was, doing whatever he was doing, and I have not heard from him since. 

She stayed at Mus' as she naturally would, given a proper guestroom downstairs, a maid to help look after. But somehow, the maid and mom developed some strain. True, she may not have been at her easiest. With constant refusal to eat, would throw away food, may even pass and discharge motion at inappropriate places. But it still wouldn't warrant a maid to be disrespectful at elderly. But still it happened and not long after, they decided to secure a maid for her. But a plan is till a plan, it couldn't happen as soon as one thought of one. 

They tried again to bring her in for checking, after realised that things didn't get better. Her cognitive functions seemed to be getting worse. She couldn't differentiate from night and day. She couldn't even get her stories right. This time, she was given few tests. Doctors admitted that there's something wrong with her. Her blood test and other indicators turned out normal. But she had a very bad cognitive reasoning and function. As how hubs put it, the tests has only put her in line with 5 and 6 years old. 

She stayed for few days. Angah insisted to visit (I'm not sure why she was so adamant on visiting). Ita paid her visit too. We came as well in one of the days. Paklang was there as well when we came. Paklang came by riding motorbike. Being older than MIL and having seen her to be that bad, made me appreciate how strong Paklang is. He said that the riding is something that needs to be done. It keeps you body active and your mind sharp by having to maneuver the traffic. This was the starting point that changed things for me. We always give convenience, automation more welcome than it should. Yes, they ease and provide comfort to our life, but we fail to realise that it's at the expense of some of our cognitive function and reasoning. Your well developed parts of the brain became lazy and will lose its ability just as muscles would. Things as basic as over reliance on waze and google map for direction, over reliance on calculators for some basic calculations, over reliance on chatgpt to form basic sentences. These are just some basic ways to deplete your brain muscle and cognitive abilities. And it has never been clearer and dire than it is now. My own mom at 78 can still remember things perfectly well, even better than I would. And I am never as good as her to remember dates, years that any particular event is happening. She knows the year of almost everyone's birthdays, marriage. She may not be particularly excelled in names, but hers is much better than mine. She can remember our old school friends (due to the connection of their parents) better than I do. We always refer to her to recall certain dates and years. She's been guiding my father for navigation cause she simply knows it better. She is sharp more than she seem. If only she was given a chance to pursue her study, I don't doubt she will excel. She's a woman of very few words and may not appeal much to many due to her perceived coldness, but she is always well intent. It was due to these few facts, starting around July 2025, that I started to develop this new approach and outlook: No matter how much convenience you get from all these automation, never let your brain, your muscles lazy. Read, write, recite Quran. Calculate numbers. Navigate conventionally. And more should be built on. 

May I'll still be as sharp as mom, and may I'll be as strong as my father.