Another brick in the wall
A lot of weird and crazy things happened to schools lately, which kind of peaked within Sept and Oct 2025
1.
High school rapes in 2 separate schools
2.
High school stabbing in SMKBU
3.
Bullying incident in Sabak Bernam
4.
A 10 year old found unconscious in school’s
toilet, later on pronounced dead
5.
A 9 year old fell into sewage/drain pit
6.
The much controversial Zara Qairina’s death that
opened the horrific 2025’s deaths and crime cases.
7. Various other high school cases spread across within 2025 alone.
The peak was the rape case, which not long after, followed by the high school stabbing.
News aside, what really dawned on me on the state of the
future generation that we are producing.
Up till now, I have Covid to be blamed. Always.
There’s always a major event behind a big revolutionary
event that shape up the world’s future. Covid, brought along a new set of socio economic revolution.
Pre covid time, while internet was already much depended on,
virtual meetings were next to non-existent, if it wasn’t totally necessary.
People still spent a lot of time and money to travel, to meet people at the
other side of the world. Physical interaction was much more effective,
suppressing the needs for online setups. Kids didn’t have a need to own their
devices. Any entertainment had to be sought after physically, any boredom will
trigger new creativity process, any special attention given by their parents
would be very much valued, cos without it, they would have nothing better to
do.
Specifically to our household, I think we have 1 more thing
to blame.
We started giving phone to my eldest when he secured 6As for
his trial. Imagine the kind of effort and achievement that he had to go through
in order to land himself his first phone, a basic one even. Covid came when he
was in F1; which meant that my 2nd was in standard 5. Aita was in standard 1
while Naela was 5 years old. Mobile device which was initially avoided in our
household until they enter 13 years old, had to be made available for as young
as Naela at 5 years old. Aita and Naela practically live and eat devices. Angah
was at 11, hence was a bit mature. Even then he was exposed to almost 2 good
years of constant interaction with devices. Study and schools depended so much
on them. We had no choice but to leave them with their devices, with the hope
that it was solely for good uses; homework, google classroom, etc. But it’s
something that we cannot really control 100%.
As if controlling device’s access is not enough, the grown
ups need some entertainment on their own as well. The lack of external parties’
social interaction other than your nucleus family, the lack of thrill and
excitement that the outdoors could bring, have caused many to resort to
cycling. Cycling didn’t start when covid started, but it grew out of proportion
when things started to ease, but not quite back to its previous form. Looking back,
it didn’t make complete sense why cycling, which was induced for social reason,
peaked up when social norms were still limited? Nonetheless, since it was covid induced, it slowly taper down a lot when covid ended as well. A lot have sold off their bikes, many has not ridden theirs for many
months. Or if they do, only occasionally and not on weekly basis. I myself have
ridden much less now, but solely for the reason that life gotten the better
part of me. As much as I would like to be cycling more, the current situation wouldn’t allow me the pleasure. In fact, the more reason to not let riding be in the way with my family. When these horrific cases are on the rise, when I have 2 pre-teens
kids under my roof now, that I have to focus on before they develop their own identity that it
will be hard for us to recognize and rationalize later. Nonetheless, apart from
kids’ access to mobile devices, I really think that the adult have not been
paying the kids the attention that they deserve during those times as well. And
I’m taking the full responsibility myself just as much. 4 to 5 years ago, the
current kids between 10 to 14 years old was in a stage of curiosity,
stimulation and excitement, without which, the energy will be channeled
elsewhere. Parents had enough of them and had only allowed it based on the
standard amount of time that parents in general would be willing to spend time
with their kids. The rest of the time, that was meant for them to be in school
or any of their outdoor activities were left idle. They resorted to their own
imagination of what they make of them. Some develop new skills and hobbies which
eventually brought more good than harm. Some unlucky others, without a decent
monitoring, being left to wander around in their own digital world, being exposed
to some things they shouldn’t and develop the wrong identities that would bring
them more harm than good. Social issues earlier on were very much physical. What
harm could people bring if they don’t directly in touch with one another, or so
we thought. But harm inflicted digitally is not only widely acknowledged, it is
a precursor to physical damage that may lead to suicide and killings. This is
what happens now. Hence the very reason that I say, these horrific cases that
happen to teens today, have covid to blame.
The cases hit me hard, there’s no masking it. Immediately
after the news, I felt the need to discuss the matter with the kids, near and
far, old and small. They need to know that these are unacceptable behaviour.
There must have been a blurred line between good and bad, fun and boring that
brought us to this situation. If we are seeing these cases when they are still
kids, God knows what happens when they grow up, and raise equally illiterate
children themselves.
So my first intervention was by buying them a deck of cards.
I taught them solitaire. More for the purpose of taking them away from the
screen, in the hope that it can increase some quality time with them, get their
mind thinking a bit, rather than seeking passive, short term and short form entertainment
from youtube and the likes. Next, I’ve started the reading culture again. A bit
difficult for Aita, but seems to be exciting enough for Naela. Although by now,
the habit subsided a bit. Need to keep at it again so that it becomes a habit for
good. I have also made an effort to converse more. Not so much of normal
conversation, but try to relate to whatever happens around you, be it describing
and explaining the situation in the news or enquiring their understanding of
things around them. The situation may change from time to time. There were a
lot of interesting conversation which I have forgotten by now. The purpose is
to instill understanding and to also trigger even more curiosity. This is a reminder
to myself as well on why I was doing this initially and to be persistent with it. The current situation has made me recallwhat was
it like when I was growing up. Have to painfully admit that conversing and joking
was not so much my family’s norm, not how I was brought up. So I just noticed
that this was something that I surprisingly found needing more effort with. But
still, I found out discussing general stuff with them works, explaining without
expecting much response from them works. I would try to rebound some ideas with
them just to check their understanding, and apparently, they have. I have tried
to get them more involved in the kitchen and tried to make it enjoyable rather
than a chore. Difficult definitely, but hope time will do the trick. Most
importantly, I will try to skip my workouts as much as I can, if it can take up
that important, short window after dinner
time to before sleep time. This window seems like the best time to reconnect or
establish any connection with them.
Given Aita only has few months left to be with us, I have to
make this work. Not just the duration, but the contents as well. And I have to
painfully admit, it’s not easy. May all is eased.
To end this, somehow Pink Floyd's song come time mind:
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